How ‘bouts we review some of the feelings I was/am having as I launched my Decision Making Program and move forward in my business. Shall we...?
- capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt
- open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.
- open to assault; difficult to defend
What are all of these… feelings…? Is that what they are called? Feelings?
Historically I was not one to open up. Trusting my closest loved ones was something I had a “Do as I say not as I do” type of approach to.
The first step I took in my optimistic demonstration that I believe in mankind, was to show the authentic me to the people that I would have listed as trustworthy confidants. It took energy and effort in moving forward and allowing myself to be exposed. A couple of times it backfired and blew up right in my crying face! And that’s okay.
Now, several steps later, I am going to open that vulnerability up to the World Wide Web. A place where I can’t read a person and decide what to share and what to hold back. If you are here, you just get all of it…whatever you choose to click and read. Um yeah… that’s scary.
ter·ri·fy [ter-uh-fahy] ter·ri·fied, ter·ri·fy·ing.
- to fill with terror or alarm; make greatly afraid.
Wait… what am I doing? I am telling people, straight up, about my struggles with finding my own way? I am going to just put myself out there for all to see and judge and comment on? What if it sucks? What if I suck? Oh crap… what if this totally tanks and it was a giant waste of time? What if no one wants me as their coach? Oh man… I might be a giant failure.
Deciding to do this full time is definitely one of the most terrifying decisions I have ever made. And at the same time I feel more free than ever before!
- alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.
- a means or thing that relieves pain, distress, anxiety, etc.
- something affording a pleasing change, as from monotony.
- release from a post of duty, as by the arrival of a substitute or replacement.
Amid all of the crazy making emotions, I felt a sense of relief. A giant cashmere covered down feather pillow of comfort in knowing that I can do what I really want to do. Weight lifted off of my shoulders. I do not have to dislike 90% of my daily routine and obligations (or even find such tasks average… because I do not waste my time with average...another topic all together.) A relief that I DID IT. I did something resembling anything and I know that is a step in the right direction!