It seems crazy now.

All through my childhood I felt that I was not creative. I was told by trusted adults that I was good at math. I was right brained and therefore not creative. It was taught to me that there was a choice to be made. Math or Arts and the numbers came fairly easily… so I guess that is my game.

I was 8 years old when I decided that I had no creativity or artistic abilities. I use logic, reason, numbers, and facts. I tossed my art projects in the garbage at school. None of this “draw what you feel”, “move how it feels right”, “play like there are no rules" crap. 

I was obsessed with rules.

Rules keep me safe. Rules are predictable. And rules produce the same result every time.

BORING!

For real. Doesn't that sound like such a boring child? It is no surprise that this same child’s favorite color was white and most loved dish was rice. Zzzzzz... Oh, I’m sorry. I fell asleep thinking about my interests as a youngster.

 
 

In my mind the fancier things in life were “them.” The other people. The people who wanted to stand out. Wanted attention. The people who had creative bones and strength that I do not and will not ever possess.

Doesn't this seem completely ridiculous?

I was a math major during my undergraduate studies for a single semester. The classes were so painfully tedious. They were more days a week  and longer hours than the other classes. And the math jokes… they were going to kill me. I decided halfway through my first semester that these were not my people and I needed out. STAT.

I worked as s a counselor for the After School Program who's goal was to help with latch key children. It was during my employment here that I discovered that maybe… just maybe I might be creative.

As partners and groups of counselors we would compile games, crafts, & ideas to engage the children in. It was every single day after school until 6pm. Do you want to know what I was the absolute best at? Bragging time… I was (ahem…am) crazy good at taking an idea that another gave or I found on the internet and changing it to fit our situation and youth. I could find solutions that made it so the entire group continued to be engaged rather than a slew of children being “out” while only 2 kids are left to play (that is what we call a recipe for disaster as the others grow bored.)

What? I can use creativity to solve problems?

My first Real taste of creativity and I was hooked.

Making things happen in creative ways made me feel good. It made me feel happy. It made me feel like I was actually contributing. No math problem ever made me feel like that. That problem had an answer that already existed… I liked the world where we come up with the answer. (And many times we come up with the questions too.)

And that is when it really began. I had finally realized I have creative flow and I was overjoyed to unleash it.

I still become stunted and blocked with the ringing of those “older and wiser” in my ears telling me that I am not artistic or creative. But even when the juices aren't flowing like I desire them to, I can logically (because we all know I've got that) tell myself that it is complete BS to say that I am not artistic. I am as artistic as I decide to be.

And I am ready for the epic adventures there are to come.

 

(Oh, by the way, when other people are making blanket statements about me I have come to learn that it is usually projection of their own insecurities. That’s what is going on when I make such judgments about others… we are all learning, growing, and progressing. Let’s help each other out. No more dragging down.)

 


Talk to me

Comment below and let me know...

What types of ideas were taught to you about you that you now know to be untrue?

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